A to Z depends on where your mind is | TSLN.com

A to Z depends on where your mind is

There are globally astute, politically tuned, conscientiously correct people who watch C-Span and write letters to the editor. When the letter “A” is flashed before their eyes they immediately think Ahmadinejad (president of Iran), Ambassador or Al Gore. Whereas when I see the letter “A”, my mind brings up anteater, all-terrain-vehicle, and artichoke.

“B” to the world’s elite envisions Belarus, Bush, thiamine and Buckle Your Seatbelt! Me? Bass boat, Bag Balm, Border Collies and Bay horses… oh, and beer.

Them; C for Congress, conspiracy and caviar. Us; credit card, cowboy boots, and wild cow milking!

Them; D for Dept. of Defense, Doctor and Docent. Us; Dunkin’ Donuts, Deal the cards and double wide.

Them; E for efficient, educational and entitlement. Us; eggs and bacon, ediot, epoxy and entrepreneuer.

Them; Frugal, efficacious, Philosophy and Barney Frank. Us; Flat out flat broke, flunked algebra and fishing.

Them; Government, the G-7, and Gucci. Us; bubble Gum, guns and gravy.

Them; Health Care, Halston, Hillary and House of Representatives. Us; High five! Hank the cowdog, horses and hunting pheasant.

Them; Income Tax and international envoy. Us; Independence and International Harvester.

Them; 401K, North Korea, Kuwait. Us; klunker, kitchen, Krispy Kreme.

Them; Jurisprudence, Japanese yen and John McCain. Us; Joe the Plumber, Jack in the Box and Judge Judy.

Legislative, licensed and lobbyist vs. licking the cake beaters, lotto tickets and Barcalounger.

Money, monuments, MBA and Meatless Monday vs. monkey wrench, mashed potatoes and muddy boots.

Them; Notoriety, knowledge, nose job and newshound. Us; National Finals Rodeo, NASCAR and square knot.

Them; Obama and International Order. Us; Oreos, offsides and oncle.

Them: World Power. Us; Poker Tournament on ESPN Quality vs. Q Tips Regulation vs. Regular coffee Government service vs. drive-in service Tehran vs. Trout Stream United Nations vs. Uncle Ben’s Rice Vice President What’s his Name vs. Vanna White World Peace vs. Hot Wings Xeriscaping vs. Marks the spot where you are on the mall map The letter “Y” for them; Yelling at politicians. For Us; Yawning at politicians And the letter “Z”, Them; zipping back and forth like water skippers.

Us; sawing zzzzzzzzzzzz.

At least we have both sides covered!