Barbed Wire by Doug Cooper: Carnivores need not apply | TSLN.com

Barbed Wire by Doug Cooper: Carnivores need not apply

The environmental movement occasionally takes a moment for introspection. Not that they would question their true motives or feel a twinge of guilt for the damage they have done to productive Americans. These days they are stopping to wonder if only vegans are true environmentalists. Like Assad jumping the red line that Obama drew in Syria, the true believers may have to decide if they can risk such a bold move. The formerly well feed eco-warrior may now have to cross the animal protein barrier to attain environmentalism. It used to be so simple. Back in the good old days all a greenie had to do was put a bumper sticker on their foreign made car and maybe wear a tie dyed tee-shirt. One environmental group used to pull a giant fiberglass salmon fish on a trailer behind their Subaru. This group never had to justify how lugging around a useless object made out of plastic, while getting poor gas mileage actually helped the planet. They just knew they were on the right side, polluting for a worthy cause. Walking down a street in Washington, DC- I once was accosted by an energetic bearded man. He ran up to me and shouted at me. Captain, don't you want to help me save the world? He produced a clip board and showed me where to sign. I declined but was impressed by his zeal. I wondered if fleas ever tried to save a dog. The idea that signing a piece of paper would help even a tiny bit of the planet was truly delusional. I am not sure if he thought I was a captain of industry, or the guy who drives a boat, but I knew that nobody on that street was saving the world that day. Earlier a panhandler had asked me for money and soundly cussed me when I didn't contribute. Here I was a few blocks down the street and now I was supposed to be superman. I suppose that today I would have to fill out a questionnaire to be allowed to sign their petition. The bearded man would have to ask first if I ever ate meat. Then he would notice my leather cowboy boots and the hand made, biodegradable, locally produced pencil would be ripped from my hand. No carnivores need apply. Now that the environmental movement has standards to keep up, not just anybody can save the planet.