Baxter Black: The McGuffin
Three giant lobby groups from an alternative time-warp are engaged in a furious hissy fit whose purpose is raising money to pay lawyers. “Send Money so we can Litigate, Pay company Executives, and Solicit more Funds!”
“Animals are overrunning government property,” they exclaimed,” …and endangering the environment! These are domestic animals that have been turned loose to fend for themselves and have multiplied exponentially!” Sound familiar?
Yes, the lobby groups are the usual suspects: Sierra Club, Audubon Society, and the Humane Society of the Unites States (HSUS). The “McGuffin” is what Alfred Hitchcock called the object in the movie around which the plot thickened but had little significance on its own. Like the missing microfilm, hidden treasure or secret code.
Examples: When their funds and influence ran low in 1996, the Sierra Club hoisted a grand campaign to drain Lake Powell. The Audubon Society chummed up to Ted Turner by offering him “environmentalist credibility” in return for a big donation, and the HSUS is the first one there with their hand about to solicit funds from hurricane pets to horse abuse to Missouri Prop. B.
The McGuffin in this case is feral cats. They are accused of eating birds, rabbits, wood rats, varmints and vermin, some of which are… you guessed it – federally protected! Like the spotted owl, short-nosed sucker and Loach minnow.
When I allude to these three litigating lobby groups as “living in the 4th Dimension,” it is because in their alternative world, commonsense is illegal and economic impact has no meaning. Two of the groups want to trap the cats, the other group is against trapping. It makes no difference which is which, it is all about raising funds to pay lawyers, corporate executives, advertising to raise more funds, and political lobbying. It’s like watching three buzzards fighting over a flat possum on a road that no one uses.
In this operatic charade the actors all claim the high moral ground. They are plutocratic beggars, pious in their self-image. Emerson said it all, “The louder he spoke of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.”
Follow the money.
All you have to do is look at the budget and financial statement of most non-profit profiteers in the now profane world of eco-animal rights, and you realize how bizarre this parasitism has become. How can we control these feral cats?
In the real world every farmer’s daughter, rancher’s wife, woodsman’s grandchild and prairie dog hunter’s son knows the solution. Buy ’em a box of shells and give ’em a week in the woods. Where are Davy Crockett and ol’ Betsy when we need ’em?
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