Lee Pitts: Everett’s first day
“A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.” Carl Sandburg
Everett Wood spent his first full day on earth today and he got off to a great start. He was a little late getting here but, boy oh boy, was he ever worth the wait.
Everyone who came to the hospital to coo, tickle and hold the beautiful bundle of joy commented on what a handsome young man he is, with no tattoos, tongue studs or earrings. Although I did notice that the hospital placed an ankle bracelet on Everett. (I hope sure that’s the only one he ever wears.) Of course, the hospital put the ankle bracelet on Everett to deter someone from stealing him but there was fat chance of that with an army of parents, grandparents and good friends standing guard.
Whoever said that all babies look alike never saw baby Everett. Showing his fine taste he was impeccably dressed in camo, his hair was combed and his skin was touched with angel dust. Although I did note that his tiny red feet were a little wrinkly.
Everett didn’t spend one minute of his first day watching television, Facebooking, Tweeting or texting and didn’t waste his valuable time worrying about what the gasbags in Washington were up to. He played no video games and spent the day in the company and safety of family and friends who love him unconditionally. He took the day off from work and spent most of the day taking a nap. In fact, he proved to be an exceptional sleeper, but those of us who know him expected no less. He’s so extraordinary that I’m quite sure he’d have been walking on day one… if Grandma Vicki had ever put him down.
An audiologist sprung a pop quiz on Everett and tested his hearing by placing tiny earphones over his cute little ears and then measuring his brain waves. The conclusion her computer came to was that Everett was in the 80th percentile for kids his age, hardly a surprise to those of us who know him. If they had told him there’d be a test he would have studied long and hard and been in the 100th percentile, I’m quite sure.
It was obvious from day one that Everett is an exceptionally bright child with lots of common sense. Whenever a doctor, a hospital nutritionist, or myself would enter his private room he’d warily open one eye and cast a suspicious glance in our direction, proving how smart he is. There’ll be no pulling the wool over his eyes.
Everett didn’t get expelled, jailed or inebriated on day one and was very polite. He didn’t start a fight with anyone, didn’t cuss, insulted no one, nor complained, and even when he puked on his mother’s shoulder he did so in a very respectful manner. He didn’t charge one thing on a credit card he couldn’t pay, and other than a little baby gas, he didn’t pollute the environment or contribute to global warming/cooling. He didn’t spend one minute worrying about things that will never happen and the only thing he stole was our hearts.
Everett didn’t talk back to his mother, or make faces behind her back when she sang silly songs off key that would have made a coyote howl. And did I mention that Everett was an exceptional listener, never once interrupting anyone while they were bragging about what a great young man he is. He told no lies, ate local, had a good bowel movement, cheated no one and didn’t do drugs, other than one shot the nurse gave him. And might I add, he was far more courageous than I’ve ever been when confronted by a six foot nurse wielding a sharp, pointy needle. He didn’t once ask his parents for money, although if he’d have asked I’m sure they’d have given him everything they had in the world. From the get-go Everett was much-loved and he brought out the best in everyone who he came in contact with.
Dear little perfect Everett, may you live 30,000 more days and may every one of them be as perfect as your first.