Britt Whitt: Twas | TSLN.com

Britt Whitt: Twas

"Twas' the night before Christmas and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring….well except that darn mouse.

You see, I've tried to trap him, and even kill him dead,

just shortly after I found cracker crumbs under my bed….

Then the phone exploded in such a clatter,

I jumped from bed to see what's a matter.

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"Well Doc, heifer and she's down in the hay,

guess maybe I shouldn't have ai'ed to that Charolais!"

Feet hit the floor and brain starts to fire,

didn't they just get that new buckaroo hire?

Where's the 2 gut and the xylazine?

Oh, I hope this doesn't turn into a scene.

Vet truck fires and blowing black diesel smoke,

Defrost on high and praying for some hope.

Last of the buckets and sutures thrown in,

Guess I'm away to a manager and folks called Kin.

She's big, angry, and all Black Angus,

Jim, you've given me reason to cuss.

Two giant grey feet are all I can see,

but it's clear she wants to squish the guts out of me!

The buckaroo hire isn't worth his weight,

pretty clear he can't take any kind of cow hate.

So Jim and I trip her and throw her down,

We casually talk about his wife's trip to town.

New hair and presents from the North Pole,

She's clipped and ready for a new port hole.

(The cow that is)

Cut over the hocks and magic does appear,

No, it's not some tiny reindeer.

Chains attached and we go to heave,

wait Jim I just lost an OB sleeve.

Back together we give a mighty tug,

Out comes a big old grey thug.

He's char char on Angus and ugly as sin,

What were you thinking back when?-[p'

I start to suture and close things up,

throw the afterbirth to the border collie pup.

Heifer is up mothering her calf,

Jim stands back and laughs.

Kind of annoyed I ask him why for?

He tells me, "ya done good making a trap door".

Jim, let's work on your bull choices next year,

you know, so I don't have to be here?

Merry Christmas to you fine man,

Let's look at EPDs when we can! F