SLIM AND MARRIAGE
When I was a kid back in the ’40s and ’50s we had a few local fellers who were plumb proud to be a bachelor. Give ’em a few snorts and they could wax pretty eloquent ‘bout how great it was. And, there was the neighborhood ladies who looked down upon them with some disgust for their manners was a little rough around the edges and their clothes carried that aroma of not havin’ ever been washed!
Slim had lots of time to think livin’ in a winter line shack
About where he’s cowboy’d; the wind was always at his back
Those who settled down to one place said he had wanderlust
Slim loved the cowboy free way of life; couldn’t understand the fuss
Out on the range a man was measured by his ability
Wasn’t what he owned or had; ‘fore that Slim had no need
But the ranch wives would gossip; Slim needs a double harness
Find a wife and raise some kids so he’ll be like the rest of us
But Slim was plumb happy with hisself; couldn’t see no need for change
Worryin’ about bills, wife and kids; WHY! a man must be deranged!
‘Cause Slim’s life was made up of ridin’ range livin’ fancy free
Only bathed a few times a year to go to town on a spree
Why! What a heathen way to live! Community tongues did wag
He don’t amount to nuthin’ now; he won’t get no better with age
You gotta talk to him about it, said ranch wife Nelly Brown
Her husband nodded his head; muttered somethin’ ’bout bein’ settled down
AND YOIU! Said Fanny Hill to her husband Pete
You set Slim on a pedestal; he needs a life of stability!
You men sure aren’t helping Slim to become respectable
If I didn’t know better I’d think you liked the way he lives.
So the ladies did insist and their husbands did agree
To meet and talk to Slim ’bout quittin’ bein’ free
They met at the Hurry Back, plied Slim with beer and advice
Why! They said, marriage is so great we should’a done it twice!
They told Slim marriage was not livin’ on the straight and narrow
It was about bein’ happy, settlin’ down and stuff like that ya’ know
Slim listened intently and nodded ’bout marriage and settlin’ down
Then said “you boys are on to somethin’, why don’t you buy another round”?
So the drinks flowed free, advice was given in the most persuasive way
And Slim seemed ready to pop the question to any one, any day!
He said, “who will I ask” ’cause we ain’t got no female squatters
You reckon it’d be alright if I proposed to one of your daughters?
The boys went home and told the wives what Slim had said
Each wife replied emphatically “I’ll shoot that Slim plumb dead”!
If he even looks at our sweet Sue; our Pride and our Joy
We ain’t lettin’ our daughter marry that no good cowboy!
So Slim got off the community hook and kept his fancy free ways
I don’t know if he ever got hitched, that’s a story for another day
So the moral of this story is there for ranch wives, and it’s right legit
“Be careful what you wish for; it’s just what you might git”!
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EVERY day in Ukraine as tractor drivers tend to the crops in the fields they hit land mines hidden in the ground by Russian soldiers when they occupied various regions.