The Pastor’s Wife Norma Elliott: How Simple Courtship Can Revive Marriage
The simplicity of new love. I’d watch him for hours riding a colt in the round pen, or knocking the fresh off a horse before heading out to gather cattle on an early morning. I’d watch him until he disappeared into the scenery. And I’d wait for his arrival, peering out into the pasture for a rider, while doing chores or cooking lunch. I’d meet him at the gate and love to hear the sound his spurs made as he stepped off a colt. I’d walk beside him and talk while he unsaddled…I’d say, I was hooked. The crush was mutual! It still is.
Years later I think to myself about those days and smile. I’m thankful God gave us our memory to recall those “first love” feelings. It prompts me to continue to do those things for my spouse that I used to. Who doesn’t like to be admired? Who doesn’t like a little ranch romance?
This time of year is a good time to knock down the cobwebs in our relationship and bring back the simplicity of courtship. Not only because February is the month we celebrate Valentines but because within simple courtship we practice habits for a good marriage.
Here’s a few simple things we did while dating and the ones we bring back when we need to fan those flames into a blazing fire.
● Write love letters.
● Spend time together…and more time…and more time…..
● Do something for her…look out for her.
● Think you know everything about them? Maybe not, ask them questions to find out new interest? Where they’d like to visit? Even what job they would do if they weren’t currently doing this one? We’re always changing and growing so keep current with questions.
● Surprise him with his favorite meal.
● Open doors for her, if you’ve let that habit slide.
● Grab ahold of his hand.
● Dress up for a night on the town.
● Tell him what you admire most about him.
● Tell her why she’s still your beauty.
● Compliment genuine character qualities.
● Be romantic.
● Anticipate doing for one another. Saddle her horse…even though she can, it’s nice to do.
● Be a little unpredictable by doing something out of the ordinary.
● Play a fun practical joke.
● Surprise her with a gift she’s been wanting.
● Write a poem…even if it’s silly.
● Play loud music and two step in the kitchen.
● Take a trip and explore someplace new.
● Say I love you often and really mean it.
● Lay in the back of the pick up and gaze at the stars.
● Take a picnic along while checking waters.
● Call them and tell them you’re thinking about them.
● Tape a note to the steering wheel or bathroom mirror. Not one that says, “check the heifers”…but one that says, “You amaze me,” “You’re smokin’ hot,” or anything that has meaning for the two of you.
All of these things are simple. Kind of like that love that you had at first, when it was new. It’s doing the things you use to do that bring back that courtship to marriage. It’s about admiring each other and anticipating each other. Showing manners to one another and loving one another well.
We are reminded of this “new love” or rather “First Love” in Rev. 2. This time it is the love we have for Christ. The love and excitement when we first came to know Him. He tells us to do the former things. I like to think it’s…. admiration, sitting beside, loving Him. Learn more about Him, study Him. All those things we did at the beginning of our relationship with Him.
I think you’d agree these are simple things. So simple that we actually forget about them but why not try a few today just to see what happens. I bet it will even take you back to your dating days.
Thank you for reading!
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