Baxter Black: Headline Oddities
“WHOLE FOODS SALE OF RABBIT MEAT SPARKS PROTEST!”
Humm? Animal activists compare rabbits to dogs and cats. They are often kept as pets. So are mice, pigs, guppies, weasels and snakes. Do these protestors sit around brain storming their next great cause?
I can see rabbit rescue facilities forever raising funds, BLM adoption programs and eventually feral rabbits being shipped to Mexico by the millions to be slaughtered for human consumption.
“ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS GRANTED AMNESTY CREATES CONTROVERSY!”
Humm? They can already get a driver’s license, pay taxes and be given parking tickets that are printed in Spanish. I would suggest, to be fair to the hundreds of thousands waiting in line to immigrate legally, that those cutting in line must be required to buy their own Unaffordable Health Care policy first.
“CITY AIMS TO KILL FERAL PIGS!”
Humm? San Diego: Feral pigs frequently demolish entire ecosystems making it crucial to eliminate them. The animal rights group PETA objects; “…should not be killed just trying to provide food for their families to survive.” As with the feral horses, the activists never have any real solutions, all they have is another cause for fund raising, which, of course, is how they make a living. If they were truly serious, each protester, activist and member of PETA would show their personal commitment by adopting their own feral pig, care for it, feed it, contain it, give it regular medical care, have it inspected monthly by the local Extension Agent, then be humanely euthanized.
“ARE INSECTS THE NEXT FRONTIER IN FINE DINING?”
Humm? “Entomophagy could prove a nutritional and eco-friendly solution as overpopulation strains our current food systems!” Ants and grasshoppers seem to be the common insect on the menu. Would these insects be domestically raised and killed humanely? Would each ant be given a postage stamp-sized pen that allows it to turn around and lay down? Would it be overseen by the Department of Agriculture? How ‘bout feral insects? Will there be a season? Could you get your grasshopper license for Bucks Only? Would college classes on raising grubs, butterflies and beetles be taught to the hungry 3rd World? Where would you start…Zimbabwe, the Andes, Detroit, New Mexico, San Francisco? Care for some tapeworm pasta?
CONCLUSION: The more advanced a civilization becomes, the farther it gets from the real world.