Baxter Black: The Farmer and The Salesman
On the Edge of Common Sense
“Don’t be leanin’ on my fender,” said the farmer to the rep.
“TAKE A LOOK AT THIS NEW SEED CORN,”
“Git your foot offa my step!”
“AND I’VE GOT A LINE OF CLEANERS TO REDUCE YOUR BAC-T COUNT,”
“And reduce my line of credit by the very same amount!”
“NOT TO MENTION SCOURS VACCINE TO PREVENT THE DREADED CRUD,
AND THIS IRON ENRICHED INJECTION TO REJUVENATE TIRED BLOOD.”
“I don’t need yer blamed concoctions! All my calves are at their peak!”
“YEAH, I NOTICED THAT YER DEADMAN’S PILE IS SMALLER THAN LAST WEEK,
AND YER PIGS ARE DOIN’ BETTER SINCE YOU BOUGHT MY SUPPLEMENT.”
“It’s that parsley I been addin’, not yer feed that makes ‘em grunt!”
“HOW’S THAT HERBICIDE I SOLD YA? KILLED THE WEEDS IN YOUR FIELD.”
“Huh! It rained just right this summer, that’s what doubled up my yield!”
“DO YA NEED SOME MORE INFLATIONS, BALER TWINE OR RUBBER BOOTS?”
“Read my lips! No milk replacer, no organic substitutes!
Everything you try to sell me just adds to my expenses.
It’s hard enough to keep’er runnin’ smooth between the fences!
Can’t you see yer takin’ up my time. I’ve got to go and feed.
So say good bye and leave me…what you think I’m gonna need.”