Coup De Grace | TSLN.com

Coup De Grace

"Well, at least it isn't broken," he said as he wiped his face

With his good arm. "Although it might be a smidgen outta place.

That sucker sure did buck hard! I'm glad I was wearin' my hat

Or I'da punched right through that net wire fence and hung there like a bat!

Dadgummit! Where's the rest of my shirt? All but the sleeves are gone!

And my chest has got a pattern you could make a waffle on!

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I remember him a'squallin' with my collar in his teeth

as I flopped from neck to shoulder like a rubber Christmas wreath!

Have ya seen my other bat wing leg? I had it, I'da sworn.

I never wear just half a pair. Musta hooked it on the horn

When he ran it up my pantleg where my inseam used to be

And my off hind boot is missin', aw, shoot, that don't bother me,

It could still be in the stirrup 'cause I had a deadman's grip!

I made several revolutions from his belly to his hip,

Checked the bosal and the back cinch as I orbited around!

He pumped me like a plumber plungin' dirty water down!

Then bounced me off the buckin' rolls when he went to changin' gears!

I did a back flip and catapulted out between his ears

But I hung tight to the neck rein as I spun and ricocheted

Like someone tied a chicken to a helicopter blade!

I was airborne several minutes 'fore I landed in a heap

And, exceptin' for this hatband there ain't nothin' left to keep!

Can't remember if he kicked me but these tracks are livin' proof,

This here trademark on my pocket looks suspiciously like hoof.

Don't know how the sucker bucked me off. It happened way too fast

But nobody has to tell this fool that I been coop de grassed!

It's a story old as cowboys and sometimes the horses win

But, at least it isn't broken, so best catch'im up again!"