Lee Pitts: Life Is Too Short | TSLN.com

Lee Pitts: Life Is Too Short

Life is too short to…

worry about stuff that’s probably never going to happen.

read a bad book or watch a terrible movie just because your paid for it.

spend your life staring at your I phone, computer terminal or boob tube.

work 40 years at an occupation you hate for bosses that are dumber than a dead battery.

ride rank horses or put up with crazy cows.

listen to fake news or eat fake meat.

commute two hours each way every day to work.

watch fireworks on TV. Go see the real thing.

roll your own smokes.

listen to rap music.

feel guilty about what our ancestors did to the slaves and Indians. You didn’t do it.

loan money to any of the three F’s; friends, family or fools.

get drunk every night and wake with a monster headache every morning.

stay tethered to the home place your entire life. There’s a big world out there… go see it.

marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper.

worry about the number of Facebook friends you have, Instagram followers or You Tube subscribers.

shave every day.

fish in a dry hole or hunt deer without a tag.

brag about your ancient ancestors incessantly. You should be far more concerned about how your kids will turn out.

wear tight fitting jeans or loose fitting boots.

wait on the government to do the right thing.

live in fear of germs, dirt, dentists, chiggers, fire ants or a little cow manure.

argue. Who says you have to attend every feud you’re invited to?

spend the holidays by yourself. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen.

hang around with losers.

worry about what percentile your baby is in.

keep marrying the wrong type of person just because you get little lonely. Get a dog instead. You can still feed it out of a can, they’re much cleaner and they don’t talk back.

play golf or poker with a cheat, or ever bet against the house. Lotteries are for suckers.

idolize film or TV stars or put athletes on a pedestal just because they can throw a football or dunk a basketball. There’s a very good chance they aren’t who you think they are.

continue to stay on hold while waiting for them to “be with you shortly.”

pay dues to your enemy.

pile the family into your Smart Car and take off on a family vacation from coast to coast stopping every 58 miles to recharge for 2 1/2 hours. (up to 21 hours if you’re plugged into 120 volts.) And good luck finding a charging station in Pie Town, Dunmovin’ or in places the trains only stop if they hit a cow.

play video games or get in a Twitter war with someone you’ll never know.

worry about the rights of beets, cooked carrots, tubers, tofu, or rutabagas.

use inferior tools made in China.

argue with your spouse and then be shunned for the following week.

stay in bed until noon every day.

own a horse you can’t catch.

worry about how old you are. (You can’t do a thing about it… except die.)