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Lee Pitts: So, Melt Already

 

Did you hear that?

Neither did I. The sound you’re NOT hearing is laughter. Political correctness has turned this country into a bunch of sourpusses. We’re all wound so tight you can’t tell a Potagee, dumb blonde or Lutheran joke for fear of being shunned. Instead of being bald, I’m a victim of cranial deforestation and follicle regression. I’m sure there’s a support group somewhere I could join.

We’re taking ourselves way too seriously. If you root for the Redskins or the Braves you are a bigot, and don’t use the tern “Indian” either. They are “indigenous native Americans”. And what’s with “African or Afro Americans? Does that make me an agri-American? People who live on the African continent don’t refer to themselves as American Africans. That would be ridiculous; most haven’t even been here. So why do we call native black people African Americans? It’s the same way with Mexicans. A lot of my best friends have been Mexicans in my life but I’m confused. Are they now Latinos or Hispanics? Why can’t we all be simply Americans?



And by the way, just because your great-great-grandparents were terribly treated as slaves doesn’t give you a get-out-of-jail-free-card, or the the right to torch stores, steal stuff and ruin the livelihood of hardworking store owners.

Political correctness is the tool used to further everyone’s agenda these days. At the same time they’re reducing your freedom. They want to take away your freedom to have your own opinion, or to NOT participate in the argument. Minority groups like gays, vegetarians, and PETA that comprise at the most three percent of our population are trying to run the country. Activists are manipulating the system to give themselves far more power than they are entitled to. Anyone who doesn’t support their opinion is blackballed. Take global warming. Oh, I forgot, it’s now climate change. People who don’t believe in it are called “denyers”. Oh, no. I hope my Facebook friends don’t find out. Oops, I just remembered, I don’t have any. Wow is me.



My fellow Americans, it’s okay to eat meat. People have been doing it for thousands of years. If you don’t want to, that’s fine too. That’s your business, but don’t try to shove tofu lasagna down our throats or pretend you are anything but a tiny minority. Majority still rules. Or at least it did until Dominion voting machines came along.

Even when we see something that is hilarious, like a loser who likes to wear his cargo pants falling down according to the style of the day, we can’t laugh at the idiots lest we be labeled a bully. I’m sorry but wearing pants about to fall down is just not sustainable.

About all this transgender bathroom thing… I don’t care if you want to celebrate your sexuality or if you want to marry a squirrel, cow, grizzly bear, man or palm tree. That’s between you and your mate and I have no right to interfere. But I don’t want to know all the details, okay? And It doesn’t mean I have to give up my freedom to disagree. A bit of advice, you’re not going to gain many sympathizers by having men use the lady’s bathroom.

I’m sorry, but just because you want to give chiggers and cows the same rights as humans doesn’t entitle you to torch livestock trucks. You’re a criminal who belongs in prison where you’ll learn a lot about real animal rights. Now I’ve heard that teachers are passing out ribbons and trophies to participants instead of winners. I swear, we are turning into a nation of sissies.

It’s not funny to see a grandma frisked to combat terrorism because we can’t profile. I’m sorry but just how many 89 year old grandmas flew those planes into the Twin Towers on 911?

It’s time we put political correctness out of its misery. Or should I say, our misery? So tell a joke, laugh, swat a fly, quote the Constitution, buy a gun, deny a vegetable its rights, put a bumper sticker on your truck’s bumper to irritate the activists, and stop it with all the PC-speak.

One of the greatest strengths of America is that we’ve always been a melting pot of great ideas and cultures. So to all the activists I say, “Melt already.”


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Lee Pitts

Lee Pitts: Cash Cow

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“Hello, this is Dave Shyster and I work for the firm of Cunning, Devious and Filcher, the financial consultants.”



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