Leonard Wolfgram: SORTIN’ ALLEYS
Old Red had went to heaven they had him in a sortin’ alley
St. Pete was there with his count book takin’ in the days new tally
St. Pete said you gotta bring ’em by let ’em walk a whole lot slower
The count just won’t come out right an’ I want’a get this over
These folks just died, they’ve had lots of stress; maybe off their feed
So let’s handle them with kind words and love, don’t lose one if there’s no need
St. Pete said, “I hate this job watchin’ the Pearly Gate
And when the count is off we count again like them punchers on the Triple J
Then St. Pete started lookin’ close started to really scrutinize.
He said “it’s that Red Haired one; run him in a catch chute for his size
Red said “St Pete don’tcha remember me when I offered you that chew
Of Copenhagen at the Pearly Gate when you let me through”
Aah! said St. Pete “I do recall how you slipped the noose
But bad luck’s caught up with you and now you gotta choose”
You see, there’s no chew in heaven, we had ours outside the Pearly Gate
That’s why the admin folks up here said you’d have to wait
To see if you had clearance, now I’m in trouble here you see
‘Cause here in Heaven I let you in and I’m Homeland Security
So Red said “Pete please let me in on what I gotta choose
I can’t believe they’d send me to hell for sneakin’ in a little chew”
So the word came down from the admin folks and the punishment really fit
they said Red could keep his chew………………………………………………………………
It’s just that he could never spit!
SORTIN’ ALLEY’S
by leonard wolfgram
Old Red had went to heaven they had him in a sortin’ alley
St. Pete was there with his count book takin’ in the days new tally
St. Pete said you gotta bring ’em by let ’em walk a whole lot slower
The count just won’t come out right an’ I want’a get this over
These folks just died, they’ve had lots of stress; maybe off their feed
So let’s handle them with kind words and love, don’t lose one if there’s no need
St. Pete said, “I hate this job watchin’ the Pearly Gate
And when the count is off we count again like them punchers on the Triple J
Then St. Pete started lookin’ close started to really scrutinize.
He said “it’s that Red Haired one; run him in a catch chute for his size
Red said “St Pete don’tcha remember me when I offered you that chew
Of Copenhagen at the Pearly Gate when you let me through”
Aah! said St. Pete “I do recall how you slipped the noose
But bad luck’s caught up with you and now you gotta choose”
You see, there’s no chew in heaven, we had ours outside the Pearly Gate
That’s why the admin folks up here said you’d have to wait
To see if you had clearance, now I’m in trouble here you see
‘Cause here in Heaven I let you in and I’m Homeland Security
So Red said “Pete please let me in on what I gotta choose
I can’t believe they’d send me to hell for sneakin’ in a little chew”
So the word came down from the admin folks and the punishment really fit
they said Red could keep his chew………………………………………………………………
It’s just that he could never spit!
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