Leonard Wolfgram: SORTIN’ ALLEYS

Old Red had went to heaven they had him in a sortin’ alley

St. Pete was there with his count book takin’ in the days new tally

St. Pete said you gotta bring ’em by let ’em walk a whole lot slower

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The count just won’t come out right an’ I want’a get this over

These folks just died, they’ve had lots of stress; maybe off their feed

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So let’s handle them with kind words and love, don’t lose one if there’s no need

St. Pete said, “I hate this job watchin’ the Pearly Gate

And when the count is off we count again like them punchers on the Triple J

Then St. Pete started lookin’ close started to really scrutinize.

He said “it’s that Red Haired one; run him in a catch chute for his size

Red said “St Pete don’tcha remember me when I offered you that chew

Of Copenhagen at the Pearly Gate when you let me through”

Aah! said St. Pete “I do recall how you slipped the noose

But bad luck’s caught up with you and now you gotta choose”

You see, there’s no chew in heaven, we had ours outside the Pearly Gate

That’s why the admin folks up here said you’d have to wait

To see if you had clearance, now I’m in trouble here you see

‘Cause here in Heaven I let you in and I’m Homeland Security

So Red said “Pete please let me in on what I gotta choose

I can’t believe they’d send me to hell for sneakin’ in a little chew”

So the word came down from the admin folks and the punishment really fit

they said Red could keep his chew………………………………………………………………

It’s just that he could never spit!

 

SORTIN’ ALLEY’S

by leonard wolfgram

Old Red had went to heaven they had him in a sortin’ alley

St. Pete was there with his count book takin’ in the days new tally

St. Pete said you gotta bring ’em by let ’em walk a whole lot slower

The count just won’t come out right an’ I want’a get this over

These folks just died, they’ve had lots of stress; maybe off their feed

So let’s handle them with kind words and love, don’t lose one if there’s no need

St. Pete said, “I hate this job watchin’ the Pearly Gate

And when the count is off we count again like them punchers on the Triple J

Then St. Pete started lookin’ close started to really scrutinize.

He said “it’s that Red Haired one; run him in a catch chute for his size

Red said “St Pete don’tcha remember me when I offered you that chew

Of Copenhagen at the Pearly Gate when you let me through”

Aah! said St. Pete “I do recall how you slipped the noose

But bad luck’s caught up with you and now you gotta choose”

You see, there’s no chew in heaven, we had ours outside the Pearly Gate

That’s why the admin folks up here said you’d have to wait

To see if you had clearance, now I’m in trouble here you see

‘Cause here in Heaven I let you in and I’m Homeland Security

So Red said “Pete please let me in on what I gotta choose

I can’t believe they’d send me to hell for sneakin’ in a little chew”

So the word came down from the admin folks and the punishment really fit

they said Red could keep his chew………………………………………………………………

It’s just that he could never spit!