No, I won’t go
I didn’t want to go to church yesterday! Did not! I started thinking of excuses of why I couldn’t go on Saturday afternoon. Here’s some of them…
“I need some time alone!”
“I don’t ever skip church, it will be okay this one time!”
“Nobody is gonna be mad if I don’t go!”
“I don’t really need it!”
“Nobody will notice if I’m not there!”
“It doesn’t say anything in the Bible about perfect church attendance!”
“I can worship at home”
“She’s gonna be there, and I just don’t want to deal with her!”
“I don’t feel like putting on a church smile!”
“I have work to do!”
Actually when I woke up Sunday morning, I had narrowed down my excuses down to one…wait for it…it’s good… “I’m gonna stay home today!” I know, it took hours to come up with it! Nailed it! Now to tell Pastor Man…
…but I didn’t. It took every ounce within me to open my Bible app and read the word for the day. “When I am weak, He is strong!” o.k., I’m weak…I’m staying! But then I opened my reading plan and there it was again. This reading plan was totally different than my daily word and for it to come up twice…well, I better pay attention.
“When I am weak, then He is strong!” I’ve read this scripture so many times, everyone uses it. But that was it, I don’t have to be strong to go to church. I don’t have to do anything in my own power or abilities or mood. But I do have to tell my OH SO STUBBORN flesh…”it’s my way, so hit the highway!” Get up girl…you are going!
I forced myself to the shower, cranked up Air1 and got myself ready! My pastor husband didn’t even know I was having a boxing match with myself! These times are the times I need to be there even more. It usually means one of three things:
1. I’m struggling with my flesh! I wasn’t having any issues with anyone at church…that’s the honest truth. So this issue yesterday was just with laziness and if I let it win now, I will let it win again and again. Once it starts to take over it tells me little lies. Lies like, “church is not important!” It will even begin to tell me bigger and bigger lies. Lies like… “I’m not important!”
2. There’s something I’m supposed to hear. Many times when I struggle to go to church, I know there’s probably something I’m really supposed to hear. If I’m feeling resistance, I better work even harder to hear the Word of God…He’s got something I’m needing. Doesn’t He always?
3. There’s someone I’m suppose to bless. Sometimes when I don’t want to be there, is when I need to realize it’s not always about me. It’s not always about me in Church la la land. It may be that it’s time for me to get to work. I may have something to bless someone else. And that was the case today. A visiting pastor and his wife. They just needed encouragement and yes, they could have picked a number of people to get that from but they chose to come to our church. They just needed to hear, “Keep going, you can do this!” They just needed to know they weren’t alone, as all of us feel overwhelmed at times. This isn’t about a guilt trip of why you don’t go to church. I’m saying…. “hey, I struggle too!” But if we understand the battle that is going on and identify the why behind the won’t then we can often move pass the obstacle.
Hope this helps and hope you visit me at http://www.thecowboypastorswife.com
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