Testing the teachers | TSLN.com

Testing the teachers

I respect the teaching profession, I really do. Believe it or not, I was one once for about thirty minutes. There are many dedicated hard working teachers, but there are also many who use their position to push their own private agenda. And the higher up you go, the worse it gets. Kindergarten through 6th grade… not so much. But you can bet your boots the college doctors without stethoscopes are grading their students on how much the students agree with the teacher.

It’s time we test the teachers to find out how much they know and how much they are making up. So students, ask your teachers to take the following test. In each case, one of the statements is blatantly false while the other is a fact. If the teachers get less than 60 percent they ought to be flunked out of the school system.

Between the following choices which one is poppycock and which one is a fact.

#1 (a) The polar bears have all drowned because the ice caps melted due to global warming. (b) Polar bears can actually swim so they didn’t drown and, in fact, their numbers have multiplied by a factor of five during all this “global warming” nonsense.

#2 (a) The Humane Society of the United States saves cats and dogs in shelters and spays and neuters them. (b) The HSUS is a greedy bunch of lawyers who sue people to enrich their large staff of, get this, lawyers.

#3 (a) Since the USDA and Mrs. Obama have started telling us to eat lentil soup, Brussels sprouts, and fake frankfurters, American school kids have grown smarter, healthier and less obese. And Type 2 diabetes has practically disappeared. (b) New studies reveal that people switching to vegetable oils would be better off using real butter. Those same studies show that high levels of total cholesterol are equating to longer lives at ages over fifty.

#4 (a) Solar and wind power are cheap, clean, friendly to all the animals and birds and can replace fossil fuels if we’d just drive electric cars and spend more tax dollars subsidizing green energy companies. (b) Workers at solar plants report that birds burst into flame and leave a smoke trail when they get too close and that’s why the birds are known as “streamers.” Wind farms are slicing and dicing birds and insects, some of them endangered species.

#5 (a) Just as Al Gore predicted in his documentary, the sea level has risen so high that New York and Hollywood are now under water. (b) The only way the ocean is going to suddenly rise 20 feet is if Al Gore decides to go skinny dipping in the Pacific.

#6 (a) Wolves are cuddly dog-like animals that only eat plants and sick gophers.(b) Wolves are ruthless killing machines with big teeth and they attack in packs.

#7 (a) Carbon dioxide is a dangerous gas that is causing the earth to heat up. (b) The globe has been in a cooling phase for the past 18 years at the same time that carbon dioxide levels grew another 9 percent to an all time high. Carbon dioxide is one of the four “gases of life” and plants, and therefore animals, cannot live without it. There is no hard evidence that man-made carbon dioxide is a dominant factor in controlling global temperature.

#8 (a) Animals are going extinct because of the terrible things that private property owners do to them. (b) The vast majority of endangered species are found on private property. There have been five mass extinctions in history and at least 20 smaller ones. Over 95 percent of the species that ever lived are now extinct. We will be too someday.

#9 (a) A vegetarian diet is the most healthy. (b) Plant sources are incomplete sources of essential amino acids, the building blocks of the human body. Animal sources are complete sources of essential amino acids. You could consume a meal that’s 60 percent protein but unless part of it is from animals, the protein will not be utilized to repair the body’s damaged cells.

#10 (a) The correct answer in every case was (a). The correct answer in every case was (b).

The right answer, of course, is (b).Instead of promoting their own propaganda and poisoning the minds of their captive students, teachers should stick to the facts.

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