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Recent Stories - Lee Pitts

Lee Pitts: Old News

November 13, 2019

I have a friend who worked for a livestock newspaper for 40 years who has newspaper ink clogging up his veins. Recently he’s been involuntarily checked into cell block 314 of the Old Farts Senior...


Lee Pitts: Stage Fright

November 6, 2019

One unattained goal in my life was to have my own antique stagecoach and learn how to “handle the ribbons” to control the the four or six horses I’d need to power it so I...


Fake Out

October 30, 2019

It seems like everything is fake these days: fake news, fake ice cream, fake money, fake teeth, fake knees, fake hips and fake identities. Bald guys are wearing toupees, women are getting fake boobs and...


My Iron In The Fire

October 25, 2019

One of the rites of passage of a cowboy’s life is the day you get your own brand. I remember the first time I took my iron out of the fire as all work stopped...


Lee Pitts: Old News

October 16, 2019

I have a friend who worked for a livestock newspaper for 40 years who has newspaper ink clogging up his veins. Recently he’s been involuntarily checked into cell block 314 of the Old Farts Senior...


Lee Pitts: Smile

October 10, 2019

I think I should have lived my life before 1826. That’s the year the first photograph was taken and the only thing I hate worse than Brussell sprouts is having my picture taken. Of course,...


Lee Pitts: A Day Is A Lifetime

October 4, 2019

I’m 67 years old and thought I was a goner at 40. The Doctors thought so too. If you’d have offered me a deal back then that I could live to be only 45 years...


Lee Pitts: KISS

September 26, 2019

Why is it in conversation with one’s horse or one’s dog we use simple, one syllable words like “come”, “sit” or “speak?” But when we talk to fellow human beings we feel compelled to use...


Lee Pitts: Mining The Miners

September 17, 2019

The big thing in ranching currently is in discovering profit centers on your ranch that were previously lying dormant. I’m talking recreational ranching where you charge dudes who want to be western for a week....


Lee Pitts: Incoming

September 11, 2019

Government officials say over 5,000 invasive species have infiltrated our ecosystem and our economy causing an estimated $120 billion in damages annually. Here’s my top ten list of invasive species in America today. 10. Fake...


Lee Pitts: Halloween For Adults

September 6, 2019

The only reason I can think of for going to conventions is to fill up swag bags full of free stuff at the trade show. During my career I’ve put together a world-class collection of...


Lee Pitts: Real Funny

August 26, 2019

A sense of humor is often mentioned as one of the characteristics that distinguishes man from animals. Mark Twain said, “Humor is mankind’s’ greatest blessing.” Notice that Mark just mentioned “mankind,” he didn’t say anything...


Lee Pitts: Forecast For The Weekend

August 23, 2019

Monday through Friday if you were to ask me what day of the week it is there’s a 50 percent chance I’d guess wrong. My biological clock simply doesn’t do weekdays. One day is as...


Lee Pitts: House Calls

August 13, 2019

PETA has declared victory in their battle over fur and now they want to go to war over wool. I guess no one has told PETA that you don’t have to kill a sheep to...


Lee Pitts: Infamous Vegetarians

August 8, 2019

I’m getting sick and tired of vegans and vegetarians bragging about all the famous people down through history who were vegetarians for at least part of their lives. I’ll admit it’s a pretty impressive list:...


Lee Pitts: The Lock Mess Monster

July 30, 2019

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who prefer combination locks and those who like locks with keys. Combo people are generally early adopters of technology, good in math, boring, generous, precise...


Lee Pitts: Sticker Shock

July 26, 2019

If I appear to be walking a little funny lately it’s because it’s sticker season. It’s that time of year when all the foxtails dry out and attempt to attach themselves permanently to my clothing....


Loco En La Cabeza

July 19, 2019

I think I may have a slight problem. My wife thinks I’ve reached the point of being borderline crazy. I’ll give you just one small example and let you decide. I’ve always been highly organized....


No Gifts Please

July 11, 2019

I was talking with a friend about things people collect when he told me about a fellow who collected running shoes that belonged to famous runners. His collection was world class and he was only...


Lee Pitts: Hear It Roar

July 3, 2019

My environmentalist neighbor has a real dilemma on his hands. He spent a wad of money covering the roof on his house with solar panels to generate enough electricity to power his house, lower his...