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Recent Stories - Lee Pitts

Lee Pitts: House Calls

August 13, 2019

PETA has declared victory in their battle over fur and now they want to go to war over wool. I guess no one has told PETA that you don’t have to kill a sheep to...


Lee Pitts: Infamous Vegetarians

August 8, 2019

I’m getting sick and tired of vegans and vegetarians bragging about all the famous people down through history who were vegetarians for at least part of their lives. I’ll admit it’s a pretty impressive list:...


Lee Pitts: The Lock Mess Monster

July 30, 2019

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who prefer combination locks and those who like locks with keys. Combo people are generally early adopters of technology, good in math, boring, generous, precise...


Lee Pitts: Sticker Shock

July 26, 2019

If I appear to be walking a little funny lately it’s because it’s sticker season. It’s that time of year when all the foxtails dry out and attempt to attach themselves permanently to my clothing....


Loco En La Cabeza

July 19, 2019

I think I may have a slight problem. My wife thinks I’ve reached the point of being borderline crazy. I’ll give you just one small example and let you decide. I’ve always been highly organized....


No Gifts Please

July 11, 2019

I was talking with a friend about things people collect when he told me about a fellow who collected running shoes that belonged to famous runners. His collection was world class and he was only...


Lee Pitts: Hear It Roar

July 3, 2019

My environmentalist neighbor has a real dilemma on his hands. He spent a wad of money covering the roof on his house with solar panels to generate enough electricity to power his house, lower his...


Lee Pitts: Gone But Not Forgotten

June 28, 2019

My friend Woody always has been forgetful. In fact, it’s why he got fired, but I’ll let him tell the story. “I had this real good ranch job working for an absentee owner who lived...


Lee Pitts: Grounded

June 17, 2019

One of my biggest regrets in life is that I never got my pilot’s license. I often wonder what kind of career I’d have had if I took the money I spent on getting a...


Lee Pitts: The Marketing Power Of Me

June 11, 2019

I’ve noticed that some of my fellow cow columnists have taken to endorsing products to supplement their income from ag periodicals and weekly newspapers who, up until now, have made it possible for all of...


Lee Pitts: Thunder Butts

June 6, 2019

I’m sure you’ve heard that Progressive Democrats like Alexandria Ocasio Cortez from New York and Ed Markey from Massachusetts have said in the Green New Deal that we need to eradicate cows from the face...


Lee Pitts: Clothespins And Saddlebags

May 30, 2019

As a leatherworker I do a lot of restorations. I regularly repair leather-bound boxes to hold antique $40,00 carriage clocks, make knife sheaths for eBay sellers and repair bridles and other tack for cowboy friends....


Lee Pitts: I Can Explain Everything

May 21, 2019

Any day now I expect to get an e-mail from one of the many editors of the magazines and newspapers who run this column informing me they no longer want my essays because I can’t...


Lee Pitts: Enough Is Never Enough

May 14, 2019

The folks in white lab coats and low shoes with letters after their names are up to their old tricks again in attempting to build the super cow of the future. And please note I...


It’s the pitts by Lee Pitts: Don’t Call Me That

May 10, 2019

Don’t call me a rancher. I don’t deserve it. Even though I’ve owned cattle since I was a sophomore in high school I’ve never been a “rancher.” I had my first “cow herd” as a...


Lee Pitts: I Hate the Internet

April 29, 2019

A few years ago Pete Gnatkowski from Carrizozo, New Mexico, wrote me, I hope in jest, and wondered which Lee Pitts I was. He’d Googled my name and found that there was a Lee Pitts...


Lee Pitts: Work is a Four Letter Word

April 22, 2019

I recently read about a 23 year old woman in Spain who sued her parents because they refused to continue to support her. She was living at her parent’s home, had no money, never finished...


Lee Pitts: The Cuddling Kind

April 14, 2019

Every once in awhile I’ll hear about an idea that makes me slap my forehead and say, “I wish I’d have thought of that.” Cow cuddling is one of those ideas. According to writer Linnea...


Bully For You (Best Of)

April 8, 2019

“How much would you take for that old bull there in your pasture?” asked the stranger. I could tell that the trespasser currently standing in my bull field was an admirer of fine animal flesh....


Lee Pitts: Watermelon People

March 31, 2019

In today’s society where up is down, right is wrong, man is woman and woman is man, the biggest lie of all is that the folks who live in huge, crowded cities with polluted air...