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Lee Pitts

Lee Pitts: I Can Explain Everything

May 21, 2019

Any day now I expect to get an e-mail from one of the many editors of the magazines and newspapers who run this column informing me they no longer want my essays because I can’t...


Lee Pitts: Enough Is Never Enough

May 14, 2019

The folks in white lab coats and low shoes with letters after their names are up to their old tricks again in attempting to build the super cow of the future. And please note I...


It’s the pitts by Lee Pitts: Don’t Call Me That

May 10, 2019

Don’t call me a rancher. I don’t deserve it. Even though I’ve owned cattle since I was a sophomore in high school I’ve never been a “rancher.” I had my first “cow herd” as a...


Lee Pitts: I Hate the Internet

April 29, 2019

A few years ago Pete Gnatkowski from Carrizozo, New Mexico, wrote me, I hope in jest, and wondered which Lee Pitts I was. He’d Googled my name and found that there was a Lee Pitts...


Lee Pitts: Work is a Four Letter Word

April 22, 2019

I recently read about a 23 year old woman in Spain who sued her parents because they refused to continue to support her. She was living at her parent’s home, had no money, never finished...


Lee Pitts: The Cuddling Kind

April 14, 2019

Every once in awhile I’ll hear about an idea that makes me slap my forehead and say, “I wish I’d have thought of that.” Cow cuddling is one of those ideas. According to writer Linnea...


Bully For You (Best Of)

April 8, 2019

“How much would you take for that old bull there in your pasture?” asked the stranger. I could tell that the trespasser currently standing in my bull field was an admirer of fine animal flesh....


Lee Pitts: Watermelon People

March 31, 2019

In today’s society where up is down, right is wrong, man is woman and woman is man, the biggest lie of all is that the folks who live in huge, crowded cities with polluted air...


Lee Pitts: Everythin I Know I Learnt In Collage

March 19, 2019

Over thirty years ago Robert Fulghum wrote a short essay that overnight made him one of the most beloved writers in America. The essay was called “All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in...


Lee Pitts: The Best Summer Of My Youth

March 11, 2019

I’ve had a lifelong love affair with Angus cattle despite an inauspicious beginning to my cattle career. Near the end of my freshman year in high school I got a $350 loan from a kind-hearted...


Lee Pitts: Don’t Let it Snow

February 25, 2019

I hate snow. I know, I know, every ten inches of snow supposedly equals one inch of rain and we all need rain, but a blizzard seems to me to be an awfully inefficient and...


Lee Pitts: Here and There

February 18, 2019

I’ve been in every state but feel most at home on the left side of the Mississippi. I’ve climbed all over the 17 western states, floated the Rogue, rode horseback on the Borderlands, know how...


Lee Pitts: Women’s Suffer-Age

February 10, 2019

If I was a woman I’d be a radical feminist and darn tired of sick jokes like, “My wife ran off with my best friend and I miss him.” Or, “women have smaller feet so...


Lee Pitts: Vegetarian’s Anonymous (Best Of)

January 28, 2019

It may come as a surprise to many regular readers of this column to learn that such a serious writer as myself has written two cookbooks. (Now out of print to the delight of serious...


Lee Pitts: In The Beginning

January 22, 2019

Don’t you wonder how the various events in modern day rodeo got started? As was told to me, rodeo events were supposedly based on things that happen on your average the run-of-the-mill ranch, but in...


Lee Pitts: How To Live A Long Time

January 17, 2019

As a child I was ALWAYS taught to respect my elders but now days it’s getting harder and harder to find one. One of those I respected immensely was Chuck Irwin who just passed away...


Lee Pitts: Be Nice

January 11, 2019

People the world over use their fingers to communicate; mostly in rude ways. Hip teenagers and Italians couldn’t communicate if they had to wear mittens or a catcher’s glove. The problem is this “finger talk”...


Lee Pitts: Too Cute

December 26, 2018

I blame all these coffee mugs, flower pots, cartoons, posters and greeting cards with Holstein cows on them for the declining consumption of beef in this country. And I don’t think that Miss Piggy helped...


Lee Pitts: Animals Are People Too

December 6, 2018

Contrary to her name, Happy is a not-so-cheerful 47 year old elephant who is being held in captivity against her will, at least according to the Nonhuman Rights Project (NRP). If you believe the NRP,...


Lee Pitts: Long Gone

November 28, 2018

You’ve worked, scrimped and saved to put together a ranch for your children only to learn that your kids want no part of the ranching lifestyle. This has created a shortage of slave labor on...